SHE Photography Suzette Hibble unveiled in this moment, true to the heart and raw.
I love my clients, my friends, my family. I love my job, I love being a mom, a wife, a doula a photographer. I love being a friend, a home maker, I love my life… My life is full, fast, and sometimes chaotic. I often move through my day fast, full of adrenaline and desire to take it all on, and be all that I can be, to be a success in all the areas of which I put my attention.
The last few days have been full to to-do’s… I gotta do this, that, accomplish, be more, be a better wife, more accomplished photographer. I need to offer more, create more, be more, mother more, cook more, eat healthier…. I need to blog more, I need to create a presence, I need people to get to know me. The list goes on. In terms of blogging, I am curious if people want to hear my words, my words are not my art, my photography is. This post does not contain an image. Is that ok? Can I be myself here, can I be vulnerable? Oh, I will try today.
This morning I took a well needed run/walk around the lake and I reflected on the pace of my life. I noticed that I’ve been meaning to walk everyday this week, yet this was the first time I had actually taken the time to do it. I have not made it priority to take the time to take care of myself with well needed break from all the daily things to do each day. It’s so important!
I have been feeling tight in my chest, I want to reach in and massage my heart…. I start off with a run, which was not expected, my body just needed to RUN, I got the anxiety pumping through and out my body. Wow it felt good. My thoughts started streaming in, fast and furious. I had, for the first moment in weeks had taken this time, silent from others needs and wants, silent from the to-do’s, just to be in nature, quiet with myself and my very loud loud head that has been aching for some quality Suzette time.
I’m not the only one aching for some quality Suzette time. Everyday after taking care of doula clients, photo clients, husband, child, household needs, I put my child to bed hoping for a moment that is mine, to discover my now very needy dog yearning, yelping, begging for some much needed mama attention. I look over to see my husband eating Almond butter by the spoonful realizing I have not yet taken care of my man and his nutritional needs, and oh, I also have not taken care of my own. The string cheese and broccoli I fed my child for dinner should do, right?
So, I sit down next to my husband and my dog, hoping to give them both a little love, while also taking a moment to rest… but my phone allures me in, the text messages come in, the emails arrive, and there are more things to do… I try to watch a show, while I pet the dog and sneak peaks at my phone, as I think about my schedule and who needs to be scheduled in, or invoiced, or loved up a bit more.. Have I called my mom, my best friend.. STOP!!!!!!!
This stream of thoughts are not meant as complaints. I love my life, and I love all the things I do in my life… What I’m getting here, is that by stopping for a moment to feel… I felt the tightness in my chest. I listen, I got curious, I forced myself to go outside and breath. My mind and my body are demanding that I give myself the attention and space I so need. In this I realize the well is running dry, and its time to take care of myself. Start eating well, go for walks every day… ha, it all sounds like more to-do’s, but if there are any top priority to-do’s they need to be self care. Without that, I fail to give to others fully with grace and fluidity.
What I hope to do for people when I photograph them, is to help them stop a moment in time, capture the essence of that moment with the camera. Slow down for 1 hour, be true to themselves and their hearts essence and play, if just for an hour.
I love my clients, my friends, my family. I love my job, I love being a mom, a wife, a doula a photographer, I love being a friend, a home maker, I love my life…
I know I am not alone in this feeling. With access to so many things at the tip of our fingers, it’s easy to feel like we have to do it all, and do it all now. I don’t. I could, and I likely will. And, it’s nice to reflect on the fact that I don’t have to. It will all be here tomorrow. People will still love me, hire me, my photo skills will not diminish in days, and the to-do list is not going anywhere.
So for just this moment, lets take a moment to breath, feel our bodies, and remember what’s important and follow our hearts, and be good to ourselves.
And as I say that, I feel a rush to finish this post, post it, and get out the door, since I promised my father I would be there by 1:00. I take another breath, to remember that today is about fun, family and love. No rush. Though it takes something not to rush. I keep breathing.
And lastly I must say, it feels like a vulnerable to post such a raw share glimpse of myself on my photo blog. Is this the type of stuff that people want to heart about? It’s me, true to the heart and raw.
My goal as a photographer is to see you fully! Now is my turn to reciprocate. Slightly out of my comfort zone. I introduce you all to a snippet of me. At least me as I am today, in this moment in time. Thanks for being with me. I am grateful!
